My parents got divorced when I was eleven and my mother immediately remarried. She dragged my little sister and I from our sleepy Florida town to a city up north, into the new family's big old house in the burbs. We were thrown into an entirely new situation that included a new stepfather, a cat, three dogs,... and my new stepsister Linda.
She was just six weeks older than me, and we became instant friends. She introduced me to the kids in the hood, among other things. I don't know whether it was from my having been to a Catholic elementary school or what, but she couldn't believe how naive I was. I knew how the "S" word was spelled, but had never heard it spoken aloud - until she said it, no doubt causing me to gasp in shock. When she said the "F" word, I didn't bat an eye because I had never even heard of it.
Then she explained what it meant, and at first I couldn't believe her. My mom? And your Dad? Do that? No way! After mulling it over for a while, I found that it might be an explanation for some things I had already observed. When I questioned my mother, I could tell by her evasive choice of words and her attitude that it was the truth.
Linda had also enlightened me about a few other choice words and expressions, such as BONER and BLOWJOB. Whether from the erotic suggestion or from my natural progression into adolescence, soon I began to get my own boners. I think that I had played "doctor" with anyone that would join me, as far back as I can remember. With this new combination of Linda, her budding body, her knowledge, her lack of inhibitions, and my newfound boners - this was becoming really interesting.
When I would start to sport in the evenings, I would run excitedly from my room into hers. Closing the door, I would show it to her, proudly, sticking right up out of my pj's. She would grab it and stroke it which felt great. One time she even popped it into her mouth, which was really fabulous. I would love to entertain you with a nice detailed blowjob story (my whole life would probably be different!); but the truth is that I was a hairless young boy who had never had an orgasm yet, and it was only for half a minute, anyway.
Time marched on and hair grew. My friend Carl showed me how to jerk off by rubbing the head of my dick with a soft blanket, and I have been pretty well hooked ever since (though I don't use a blanket anymore, and it's more like once per week now instead of five times per day!) I began to want - and need - some 'real' sex. Unfortunately, Linda was maturing faster than I and was beginning to distance herself from me, either in favor of actual dates with boyfriends or because she had real tits now. In any case, she was becoming more inhibited.
I will never know how far she went with these dates, because she wouldn't share this type of information anymore. But one thing I did know: she still had an itch that needed scratching. I knew because of a weird little game that we developed.
I never cared much about backrubs, but Linda (and most women, I have found) loves them. Since our parents were always out on Saturday nights, we would be home alone in her room watching the double feature monster movies. The only light would be from the little black and white TV set, and we would be lazing around in our pj's. Linda would ask, "Give me a backrub, would you?"
I can still picture it now. She is sitting to my right on the edge of the daybed, and she moves her legs up behind me and lies down on her stomach with her face towards the TV. Her firm butt is just touching mine. I reach up under her pajama top and begin to scratch her back gently with my fingernails, making little circles around her shoulders. I keep moving these circles around to include her shoulder blades and the center of her back. Then I change to using my fingers and the flat of my hand to press firmly against her skin. This causes the pajama top to ride up at least halfway. I continue rubbing her all over her back. Her eyes are closed now.
I gently ask, "Linda?" and get no response. I know that she would never let me feel her up under any other circumstances. I slowly move my left hand down under her armpit, massaging all the way. As I continue further down her ribcage, soon I am at the place where the breast swells out. Her boobs are small, like grapefruit halves, but there is no mistaking the smooth curve, accented even more because she is lying on them. The bad news is that I can't reach the nipple, but I get so excited tickling the soft side skin that I start to get a raging boner.
Technically, this isn't a "back" rub anymore, and I'm prepared to retreat fast if she protests. But she doesn't - not yet, anyway. I gently reach my right hand over to her left shoulder and pull her up slightly. My left hand snakes gently under towards the nipple. My heart stops as she mumbles! She twists onto her right side, bending her knees slightly behind me. Her pajama top is still halfway up her chest. She still appears to be relaxed with eyes closed.
Now I can stroke my hand slowly up her side under the pajama top, stopping at the curve of her breast. I keep smoothly rubbing her, not yet working up to the coveted nipple. This is partly due to a lack of courage ( I really don't want to piss her off) and partly due to the bothersome question: is this morally right?
Of my various fantasies, my violent raping of a woman is not one I particularly enjoy. Although I'm still a virgin, in my heart I'm a lover, not a fighter. Although I have to admit that certain movie rape scenes have caused my dick to get hard, still it ranks way down near the bottom of the list, right near the one where I pop some other guy's dick in my mouth. These thoughts have crashed some of my fantasy parties, but they were never invited.
I like to think that I don't have a violent or malicious bone in my body. If anything, I love Linda and will admit it if pressed. However, one specific bone in my body is winning the internal struggle. Yes, even at my tender age of fourteen I am already learning the life lesson of thinking with my little head.
Slowly but surely I inch my fingertips up over the curve of her left breast. At last I find the little bump, sticking up firmly. It feels nothing like mine, which are just little flaps of limp skin. Her nipple is more like part of an ear - hard but pliable. I rub it between my thumb and fingers, and it gets even harder and bigger. Linda gives a little moan.
Quickly I jerk my hand back and put it in my lap on top of my throbbing dick. As I watch her, Linda remains still with eyes closed . I notice that she must be clenching her thighs together, because she is flexing her left thigh and her butt muscles. She then shifts a little bit so that her left leg bends some more, gently kneeing me in the back, and her right leg straightens out some. This is great news, because my desire to feel her tits was nothing compared to my desire to investigate her pussy.
She is wearing these little shorty loose-fitting bottoms, with elastic on the legs. I shift around sideways to get better access with my hand, but there isn't room on the daybed anymore so I just sit on the floor. Actually, I kneel up and over her thighs and gently pull the elastic band up from her exposed left leg. I slowly snake my right hand up under the fabric. Her bare skin feels really hot and smooth.
I am so excited now that I feel I could squirt in the air without even a single touch to my dick. My hand continues up to the curve of her butt. I find I have to move my elbow down by her knee to contort my arm to continue up under the elastic barrier. I slowly move up over the curve until my hand is cupping her left cheek. Then I slowly spin it down, sideways, into her crack. The fabric is partially in my way now, but with the progress that my fingertips made I can feel extreme heat and the fuzzy edges of her pubic hair.
I drop the leg band from my left hand so that it rests up on my right forearm. I move it over her butt and tug the crotch down and away from her pussy area. She actually wiggles a little bit to help make it happen! My right hand is now touching the back end of her labia, through the fuzz. I have never been this far with a girl before, although I guess it doesn't really count since we're not making out or anything.
I start to trail my right fingertips down over her pussy lips, watching her face carefully in case she becomes alarmed. Her mouth is slightly open and she is breathing audibly, but not like a sound sleep type of slow rhythm. Her butt is starting to quiver a little as though she is cold. I wonder if I should cover her up with a blanket.
Instead I keep working my fingertips around over her pussy lips all the way to the front of her pussy, where it gets seriously hairy. I move back up and over the mysterious folds toward her butt again, and this time I detect a spot that feels a little bit slippery. I start rubbing my finger back and forth where it slides so easily, and freeze as Linda makes a little moaning noise. She is quivering a lot more now and sort of working her left leg back and forth slightly as though she were running in place. Her eyes are firmly shut. I continue rubbing, but my eyes are glued to hers, just in case.
As I slip up and down the slick spot on her pussy lips, the slippery area starts to grow. My fingertips travel farther as the available distance increases. Linda continues to quiver. I then notice that my finger is actually slipping down between some of the folds. I am still rubbing back and forth, but within the folds now. I press inwards to try to get inside, but - no dice. I move back up to the top of the folds and discover another inner space, even wetter.
This time my fingers slide in easily - it's even wetter in there. My middle and ring fingers are in up to the nails. Linda makes a little whimpering sound and her quivering is a little more jerky and sporadic, not like a shiver from the cold. I withdraw my ring finger and insert my middle finger up to the first knuckle, but my arm is getting to be really contorted now and her top leg is kind of in the way. I put my left hand down behind her top knee and gently tug it up so that her legs are more spread apart, watching her face the whole time.
She slides right up, but her pajama bottoms are tending to move with her. I withdraw my hand totally, reluctantly. But her left leg is now about ninety degrees up from her lower leg, almost at the edge of the daybed.
My knees are killing me, but in my excitement I hadn't noticed. There is now room for me up on the bed, between her legs and below her left foot. I move up there, behind her. This time I go for her lower, straight right leg and grab the fabric from the crotch area and gently pull it out away from her.
There is more room to move here; in fact, I think I can pull the elastic out far enough to see her pussy. The light from the TV is not enough to see very well, but I stick my head right down there to look. All I can see is a mass of dark curly hair, but - Oh, my God - the heavenly smell! It hadn't even occurred to me that I would be able to smell it.
My nose is very sensitive - maybe I should have been a wine taster. I am completely bowled over by the aroma that those slippery juices give off. If I hadn't loved Linda before, I fell head over heels for her now. I move closer and closer to her secret perfume spot with my face, inhaling the air deeply. I have since learned that the buzz I am enjoying is caused by a group of chemicals called "pheromones" - but right then I didn't care about a thing except that Linda might make me stop.
As I get closer to her pussy, I can see a little better. I can barely make out the labia; they are sort of puffed up and out - not like little sisters when I saw her in the bathtub. I have the elastic pulled as far as possible out to her bent left leg in an attempt to get as close as possible. I am on my knees bent down with my butt in the air and my face inches from her pussy. My aching dick feels like it is made of stone. I am having a hard time trying to inhale as deeply as possible but without exhaling so much that she will feel my breath on her.
I get really daring and stick my tongue out to touch her. From this close, the aroma is making my head spin into total euphoria. I move even closer and lick gently up and down. I can hear Linda moan, so I jerk upright; her eyes are still shut tight, although she is writhing and humping her lower body slightly. I get back down immediately and plunge my tongue right in. My nose goes right up to her butthole, but the pussy aroma is all I can notice - all I live for at this moment.
Linda moans and straightens her bent left leg, and turns back onto her tummy, giving me a heart attack and forcing my head out quickly; then I see that she has bent both legs and pointed her butt up into the air, sleeping like a little baby!
After a second, I grab her butt gently and wait for a response - nothing. I grab the waistband of her pajama bottoms and slowly pull them down over her hips and then the curve of her butt. I can get them all the way down to past her leg bands. Her pussy is fully exposed now, and I can see it better with the improved lighting angle. Her pussy was still a series of secretive folds, but the big mystery is gone because there are two distinct halves visible. I take my middle finger and gently plunge it between these halves.
To my surprise, she wiggles back on it, impaling it further than I would have even dared. She is moaning and quivering now, with my finger up her. The rest of my fingers are in the way of further penetration, so I remove it and insert my index finger instead. She moans and wiggles back on it more! The walls of her pussy feel like the softest slippery silk, like the inside of a little but deep toothless mouth.
I curve my finger a bit to investigate this new territory. About an inch up, I can feel a somewhat round shape towards the front. I am guessing that this must be the "cherry" - it is just the right shape and size. How interesting - it is not a resisting barrier. I guess she must have gone all the way already with someone. It feels as though another finger might fit in her, so I pull my index out and add my already wet middle finger.
As I continue probing and stroking the sides, she moans and wiggles spasmodically. Since she still pushes back, and since I don't feel any resistance, and since my dick is leaking all kinds of slick juice from the excitement, I wonder whether I could get away with positioning myself to stick it in.
I get up to where it is close, but her butt is not far back enough to make contact without actually laying on top of her. I guess I could do it if there were a trapeze hanging from the ceiling. There is just not going to be a way to get in her without waking her up, and I bet she would kill me if she wakes up and finds out what is going on.
Oh, well. I have food for solo fantasies for the rest of my life now, without the ultimate violation. Anyway, I don't have a rubber; what if she got pregnant?
As a consolation, I decide to try to at least lick her pussy - something I have only heard about. This time I stand up and put my left foot over her on the far side of the daybed so that I am straddling her and looking at her butt upside down. With my left hand I pull her pajama bottoms just a little further down her legs; I straighten my right arm on the daybed and lean way over.
I swoop my face down to that beautiful and mysterious spot once again. With my face nearly upside down, my nose is bumping right up against the front of her slit, and if I thought the smell was great before - it was even better now.
Without hesitating I plunge my tongue into her. She moans again and shoves her butt up to my face for better access. I lick up the full length to the front of her slit and diddle around, experimenting, looking for the legendary clit. She begins to grunt "mmph!" as she starts to hump the air beneath her. I pop up for a second to make sure that she is still asleep, and then go back to town. She resumes her humping and grunting as I resume toying with what seems to be the right spot.
My boner is killing me, aching to plunge into her. I keep on flicking my tongue back and forth, in and out, and she keeps on gyrating her hips around, faster and faster, around and around. As she keeps getting even wetter, I am finding out that the taste of her pussy juice is wonderful. I have never been this turned on in my short life, and I can't tell whether it's because of the smell, the taste, or the texture - but it certainly is her pussy that's causing it.
I am getting carried away, constantly flicking my tongue even faster and covering her entire pussy with my mouth as though we were having a really wild and sloppy French kiss. Sometimes I slow my tongue down to gauge her reaction, which she unconsciously makes clear by her moans and by the wiggling of her butt; sometimes I move it in and out, sometimes in circles one way and then the other, sometimes back and forth, sometimes in combinations of these.
After a few minutes of this, her humping just can't get any faster. I can't really tell if her hips are moving now - they are locked rigid, motionless, yet at the same time they are moving so fast that they seem to be vibrating. Oh, man; I think she may be coming! The very idea is so exciting that I'm afraid my dick is going to explode.
Her pussy is starting to make these gulping noises, kind of like farts, but more like kissing the air. Also, each time she exhales she is letting out a really long grunting sound; it sounds like some African animal charging. She makes these loud groans for at least five or six breaths. Now I'm more worried that she will wake HERSELF up.
I am not sure whether to hang on tight or run away before she wakes up. I decide to stand up and get ready to bolt. Still trembling, her hips very slowly sink down to the surface of the daybed. I pull her pajama bottoms up over her butt at the last minute. In the glow from the TV test pattern, I look at her closed eyes once again and notice that she has sort of rosy cheeks and a very light glow of sweat all over her face. She is beginning to breathe more normally as I leave the room.
At the top of the stairs, before going down to my own room, I grab my swollen dick and give it one really good hard squeeze. Without even a single pull, I gasp as I shoot out all over the stairway wallpaper. Through my blurred vision I can see a big blob of my goo on the far wall, way up near the ceiling. I don't think I can reach that high to wipe it off, even if I wanted to.
So... about this game: was she feigning sleep or not? I suspect so but I will never know for sure. But I do know that there were many other such incidents. I can remember at least once that she BEGGED me to come upstairs and rub her back. But sometimes I couldn't take the frustration of the one-way trip.
If only she had said, "I'll make it worth your while..." THAT'S the real food for some of my fantasies, even today, 30 years later.