I drove away from Chicago with mixed emotions, depression because I'd lost another job, the 5th in as many years, and elation at being set free from the suburban school system. I was 28 and without a partner, my Jeep loaded with my belongings as I sped south on the Interstate. I had decided to take some time off from life and gather my wits, maybe do some introspective thinking and choose a different vocation. Teaching hadn't worked out very well so far, it might be time to change direction.

I stopped at Bloomington and spent a few days with Mom, sleeping late and shopping. She was in her late 50's and frail-looking, more so now that she was alone. She suggested I go to our cabin, and I agreed it might be the perfect place. I repacked the Jeep with the essentials and headed south once more. The cabin was our family hideaway; a large A-frame nestled into the hillside with a pond nearby. I thought lots of trees and solitude might improve my attitude.

Growing up in a northern suburb of Chicago, life was good and nice things were the norm. We had money, my allowance was very generous and I was one of the few who had a car in high school. I also had a desire to teach, but dealing with the kids who didn't care had been emotionally draining for me.

I still missed my Dad, the one who'd been there for me the most. He had a no-bullshit way of dealing with life's problems. When I'd come to him at 17 with the confession that I thought I might be gay, he gave me a hug and said "You're still you".

All my closest friends in high school had been gay or asexual, more interested in their art or their craft than putting another notch on the bedpost. I dated a few guys in high school, but I never got attached to any of them like I did some of the girls.

My first girlfriend was just like me, horny but inexperienced. We caught each other staring one day at the pool and embarrassment gave way to curiosity. We introduced ourselves and sat talking for a long time, eventually deciding we could be friends. Sleepovers ensued, a glimpse of thigh here and a touch of a breast there, and before we knew it we were head over heels in love. Our sexual relationship ended when I went away to college, but I still get a card from her at Christmas, full of the things she and her partner are doing. My last lover had gone on to something new, she didn't like the city or her job, and had made a major life change. I had wished her the best and kept on working, saddened by her abrupt departure.

I called the place "Rock Haven", about 70 acres of hilly scrub and stunted trees on County Road Y. The pond out front is the only level place on the whole property, an oval about 200 feet long and half as wide. Family legend says that when my Dad excavated it, he took a break for lunch and when he came back the borrowed bulldozer was underwater. The water is always cold even in summer, so I think it's fed by an underground spring or river. Dad had built a raft of oil drums and planks, and I still remember sunbathing nearly nude on it as a teenager.

I spent the night outside St. Louis in a motel, rising bright and early to hit the road. Late that evening I turned off Interstate and drove down the county road, looking for our driveway. Easing the Jeep down the overgrown path, I stopped by the pole and unlocked the breaker box, turning on the power. A few yards farther down I parked the Jeep and got out, relishing the silence. Grabbing my overnight case, I locked up and went in the cabin. I'd need groceries and gas for the mower but tomorrow was soon enough. I turned on the water heater and checked the place for bugs, then headed for bed.

In the morning I made coffee and sat on the porch, enjoying the quiet. I made a list and unpacked the Jeep, cleaning as I went. I put on a thin cotton sundress and sandals for the trip to town, looking forward to an afternoon on the raft.

Waynesville was the same, a lot of uniforms and people hurrying from one place to another. I shopped for a couple of hours, loaded my purchases and headed for home.

It took several trips up the stairs to get everything inside and put away, and afterwards I put on my black bikini and grabbed a towel for my afternoon by the water. Wading through the frigid water and climbing on the raft were just as I remembered, ice-cold toes and sun-warmed shoulders.

Over the next few days I cleaned some more and stored things in their proper places, organizing the place like I wanted. I doubted my Mother would come and visit, even though she had intimated she might. I also began spending more time nude than ever before, especially at the pond.

My body was nothing spectacular in my opinion, but it looked good with a tan. I'm about 5'9" and 120 pounds, brown hair worn long and hazel eyes. If my butt was a little smaller or my boobs were a little bigger I would've been more content, but nobody's perfect.

On Saturday I woke up late and sat on the porch with my coffee, letting the sun warm my toes. I wanted to spend the day at the pond working on my tan, so after a brief visit to the bathroom and loading my cooler, I grabbed my towel and bag and headed down the path. I rounded the last tree and came to a halt, staring. An old Valiant with a faded paint job was parked near the trees with the door open. A woman was trying to put on a bathing suit, muttering under her breath. A white butt and pale breasts declared her a non-nudist, definitely a visitor.

Not wanting her to see me nude, I backed out of sight and put my stuff down near a tree. Running for the house, I wondered what she was doing here. The property was posted on all sides, I'd checked the signs. I put on my bikini and walked back down, gathering my things. I took a deep breath and walked into the open toward her and the car. About halfway there she saw me and started, her hand going to her mouth.

"Hi, I'm Vanessa Holmes," I said, gazing at her. Quite pretty, she was about my age and slim, filling her suit nicely. I guessed about 5 feet 6, B cup, with short red hair and long legs, the shapely ones that models have, along with a nicely rounded bottom that wasn't completely covered by her suit. Her toenails were painted hot pink, complimenting her nicely shaped feet.

"I'm Donna Stoddard," she stammered, lowering her blue eyes.

"Did you know you're on private property?" I asked, putting my cooler on the ground.

"Ye-yes," she replied, blushing.

"Why do you come here?" I asked, taking a step closer.

"Look, I'll leave if you want, please don't call the cops, ok?" she pleaded, backing away from me.

"Just tell me why you came," I said.

She hesitated for a moment and said "It's a nice place to relax, do a little thinking."

"For me too," I replied, "first time I've been here in years."

"You own the place?" she asked.

"My family does, me and Mom now," I replied.

"I've been coming here for two years and never saw anyone, I thought the place was abandoned," she said.

"I'm here for the summer," I replied, "schoolteacher."

She smiled and said "I teach too, out at the Fort."

"American History and freshman soccer," I said.

"Radio communications," she said.

"You in the military?" I asked.

"For now," she replied.

"Why don't we take a load off and have a beer?" I suggested, sitting down.

I opened the cooler and pulled out two cans, handing her one.

"Thanks, you sure it's ok if I stay?" she asked.

"Glad to have the company," I assured her.

The next few hours were enlightening, she told me she joined the military to get away from home. A whiz at electronics, she found radio to be an exciting hobby and talked to people all over the world. I shared a little about me and my family, telling her the bulldozer story and a few others. She was fun to be with, had a girlish laugh that made her boobs jiggle and an infectious sense of humor.

Toward evening she sat there quietly staring at the trees on the other side of the water, perhaps thinking of the reason she had come today.

Out of the blue she asked "Are you alone?"

I nodded and said "There's been no one for awhile."

Standing up, she said "Thanks for letting me stay, I feel better."

"You're welcome anytime," I replied.

She rolled her towel and slipped on a pair of shorts and an old sweatshirt over her suit, definitely a modest person. I knew I'd have to work overtime on my tan to get rid of the lines I'd acquired today, but it had been worth it.

I put our empties in the cooler and draped my towel over my shoulder, preparing to head up the hill. As I walked past her car, she stepped forward and grasped my hands, saying "Thanks again for today," and leaned to give me a small peck on the cheek. It wasn't anything special, the kind of kiss girlfriends everywhere give each other, but I was close enough to smell her skin and the tanning oil she used. The look in her eyes told me she was very grateful, and I sensed rather than saw the loneliness behind them.

"You're welcome," I replied.

On impulse I moved forward and brushed her lips with mine, feeling the softness of her mouth. It was quick, but I hoped the look in my eyes would let her know I was definitely interested. Neither of us had declared our sexual preference openly, but I could tell by her shy glances that anything was possible.

The moment passed and she cleared her throat and said "Well, until next time then."

I nodded and watched as she got in her car and started it, backing up carefully to avoid the trees. Smiling and waving out the window, she made her way up the hill and onto the road, leaving me in silence. I sat on the porch and drank a few more beers until the mosquitoes got too bad, then went inside and showered, getting ready for bed.

I tuned the radio to an easy listening station, humming along with the ballads I remembered, reliving the events of the day. A kissable mouth for sure, shapely body ditto, (much nicer than mine!) and very pretty feet, that second toe just the right amount longer than the rest. I don't know why, but I've always been attracted to strong-looking feet and toes. And her smell, that delightful aroma of tanning oil on warm skin, made more special by her unique feminine scent that teased my nose. I mentally abused myself for not being more aggressive, then fell asleep with my hand between my legs.

She didn't come back the next day, so I mowed the grass around the cabin and down by the pond. She didn't appear the next day either, and I went shopping in Waynesville for more food, then cleaned up the place until dusk fell.

After my shower, I sat on the porch and drank some more beer, listening to the frogs. I thought I must be obsessed, I couldn't get her out of my mind for more than a few minutes at a time. I fervently hoped the "next time" would be soon or else I'd go crazy.

The weekend arrived and I was sitting on the front porch with my coffee, kicked back in my chair with my feet up on the railing. I heard a shout and a squeal of bad brakes, then an engine coming closer, growling like it was in low gear. I stood up just in time to see a large van squeal to a stop a few feet away from the back end of my Jeep. An older man looked out the window at me, his expression unreadable. Several windows were open and I heard a muffled "Whoo-hoo!", making me realize I was standing there nude. I blushed and ducked inside for my bathrobe, returning a few seconds later.

The driver was standing at the bottom of the steps by this time and I asked "Can I help you?"

"Yes ma'am," he replied, "are you the owner?"

"Yes, I'm part of the family that owns this place," I said.

"Well, we've been coming here for quite a while now and haven't ever seen anyone in the cabin, we assumed it was abandoned," he said.

"Well it's not!" I exclaimed, "we haven't used it for some time is all."

Turning to walk away, he said "Sorry to bother you, we'll go someplace else."

I heard a couple of groans from the van along with a loud "Shit!"

The faces I could see were all young and mostly female, so I said "Wait a minute!...can you come up here for a second?"

He climbed the stairs and I opened the door, motioning him inside.

"Who are you?" I asked.

"Master Sargeant Theodore Atkins, ma'am," he replied.

"Who are they?" I asked, pointing to the driveway.

"My troops from the Commo school, I treat them to a beer bust occasionally," he said.

"They were looking forward to it, weren't they?" I smiled.

"Yes ma'am, they were," he replied.

I knew that Fort Leonard Wood was a training base, but what kind was a mystery to me. I also knew that the local cops treated the military in a less than friendly fashion most of the time, and maybe a party was what I needed to lift my spirits. It was known locally as "Fort Lost In The Woods," and comprised 96,000 acres of the kind of ground I was standing on, namely not good for much else.

"Tell you what Sarge," I said, "if you guarantee there won't be any trouble that'll bring the cops down here, you go ahead and have your fun."

His face lit up in the first smile I'd seen and he reached to shake my hand.

"You won't regret it ma'am, there won't be no trouble," he said.

"Vanessa, Vanessa Holmes," I replied . "Pleased to meet you Vanessa, call me Teddy," he said.

I watched as he ran to the van and got in, quieting the passengers. I got a small wave from one of the back windows as it slowly drove down the hill and turned left out of sight. I put on my black bikini and walked out the door for the pond. Halfway down the path an old station wagon pulled up behind me and tooted its horn. I stepped off the path and said "They're that way!" as it drove past. The driver was a blond and she had several passengers in the other seats, dressed for a day at the beach.

When I arrived near the parked vehicles, preparations were in full swing. Two washtubs full of ice and beer were on the ground and a tall dark-haired kid was trying to light a portable grill. Dressed in a suit that barely covered his pubic hair, the bulge within was impressive. Teddy wore blue swim trunks and had a redneck tan, his arms and neck were brown with the rest a pasty white. Another guy was sorting through a large cooler, dressed much the same as the cook. The girls wore little or nothing, exposing large amounts of skin in varying shades of brown. I watched as one stepped out of her clothes and waded in the water with a towel and a small cooler over her head, headed for the raft.

Four or five others followed her, and in a few minutes they were all stretched out with oiled bodies gleaming in the sun. Teddy saw me and walked over, handing me a can of beer.

"Thanks again for letting us stay," he said.

"No problem," I replied.

"They work hard and don't get much time off, I keep'em together and do a little partying, helps increase their sense of being on a team," he said.

"What do they do?" I asked.

"Teach communications, radios, telephones, stuff like that," he said.

I nodded and asked "You think I'm overdressed for the occasion?"

He laughed out loud and said "Makes no never mind to me, I'm a happily married man, but to some maybe you are......your choice though."

I decided I'd keep the suit at least for now and walked to the grill. The tall kid with the Speedos thanked me and said "I'm Gary, you want a burger?"

"Sure," I replied, taking the offering in one hand and sitting on a nearby stump. The skinny blond kid yelled "Chow's ready!" and bent to give Gary a quick kiss on the cheek, smiling. He stood beside Gary and helped serve as they came forward in twos or threes for the food.

During the afternoon I was introduced to most of them as they came forward to say thanks. I let them know the bathroom in the cabin was available but the rest of the cabin was off limits. I sunned and drank beer with them, listening to their stories about Army life.

Toward dusk, I heard Sargeant Atkins rounding up his people, urging them to get packed up and ready to go. One of the girls came up to me and kissed me lightly on the cheek, saying "thank you" softly in my ear. Her suit was tiny, allowing me a peek at her breasts down to the nipples. I felt a little twitch in my lower belly at the sight, reminding me that it had been a long time since I'd had company in my bed.

"You're welcome," I replied, giving her a little hug.

Before they left I stood off to one side with Teddy and asked "Do you have a girl named Donna in your unit, red hair, nice legs?"

Teddy laughed and said "Yeah, I do. She stayed at the Fort today, she's working through some personal problems right now."

"Oh," I replied, "tell her Hi for me, will you?"

"Will do," Teddy said.

I snuggled into the comforter in my loft at bedtime, relaxed and happy, glad I had helped them enjoy their day but disappointed in not seeing Donna. In the morning I had my coffee on the porch, listening to the birds chirping and squirrels barking at one another in the trees. I realized my life was full and rich with all kinds of opportunities, only lacking in the romance department. I'd never made a pass at anyone I worked with, following my Dads' sage advice of "don't pee in your own pool". Chicago is full of clubs and bars that cater to my kind, but I missed waking up to a smile from someone I cared about.

A few days later I was eating lunch and the phone rang.

I picked it up and a woman's voice asked "Vanessa?"

"That's me," I replied.

"This is Donna, from the other day? .....I'm sorry about not making it to the party, but I wonder if I could come out today?" she asked, "I'd like to talk to you."

"Sure can, I'll be here all day," I replied.

About an hour later I heard the sound of an engine coming down the drive, and I stood to greet her. Donna climbed out and came to the porch, wiping her forehead with her sleeve. She wasn't in uniform unless you counted the army green T-shirt over her shorts. Barefoot, she looked tired and depressed.

"Hi, what can I get you to drink?" I asked.

"A cold beer would be nice," she smiled.

She sat with her head down and her elbows on her knees, twisting her can and thinking of how to begin.

"You remember the day we met?" she asked.

"How could I forget?" I laughed.

"I've been thinking about you a lot since then," she said.

"Me too," I replied.

"In the Army they say "don't ask, don't tell", but I have to know. Why did you kiss me that day?"

"Because I wanted to," I replied, "and because you looked like you wanted me to."

"I did, but not for the right reasons, I wanted to be close to somebody, anybody," she said.

"It was a nice kiss anyway," I replied, smiling.

"Well, people tell me I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm too open with my emotions. I know I'm naive, but I don't know what to think anymore!" she said, frustrated.

"Those things are ok around some people," I said, "but there are some who take advantage."

"That's why I wanted to talk to you today, I feel like I can trust you. I don't know why, but I do," she said.

I took a sip of beer and said "Go ahead."

"At the party, did you see a blond girl with a little white suit, about 5 foot three?" she asked.

"Mmm-hmm," I replied.

"Well, that's Judy, she's the reason I didn't come that day..... we've been dating for a few months and we broke up last week," she said.

"Did she say why?" I asked.

"She wants to experiment, have sex with other people, she says "to see if what we have is real"," she replied.

"Oh bullshit!" I exclaimed, "she just wants your permission to sleep around!"

"Well, she's doing it," Donna replied, a sad look on her face.

"Did you bring your suit?" I asked, thinking a swim might brighten her up. She shook her head no and I said "Well, let's take a dip anyway, you might feel better."

Her clothes did little to hide the fact she was a female in her prime, young and healthy with a beautiful body. I watched as she stripped out of them on the porch, her firm breasts with delicate pink nipples coming into view. The shorts followed and I saw the curls between her thighs matched her hair, a rarity. She blushed and smiled, apparently nervous at being exposed.

I handed her a towel and we walked slowly toward the pond, her nicely-shaped ass jiggling with her steps. We swam for a few minutes and got out to lie in the sun, sprawling on the towels side by side.

"I feel better now," she said.

Feeling the need to let her know how I felt, I asked "What makes you think you need someone to make you feel whole?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, raising her head to look at me.

"You ever hear the old saying 'a woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle'? I asked.

"No," she giggled, "but I like it!"

"Me too, because what it tells me is that if I have a relationship, it's because I want one, it's not because I need one......the difference between want and need is desperation," I said.

"Oh," she said quietly, my opinion of life sinking in, her head slowly dropping to her towel.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in and out of the water, keeping cool and getting tan, sharing confidences and little secrets that new acquaintances do so as to be closer friends. I wanted to get to know her better, and possibly make love with her. I could only hope she felt the same way.

That night in my bed I ran my hands over my body, pleasuring myself and imagining they were hers. I couldn't get the image of her little pink nipples out of my mind.


Sarge called on Friday, asking if he could bring a few people out for the weekend, and I said yes.

"Is Donna coming?" I asked.

"I think so, you want me to call back when I know for sure?" he replied.

Not wanting to appear too anxious, I said "No, that's ok, I'll see you guys in a bit."

Checking the bathroom for extra toilet paper and tidying up the living room took a few minutes, and I heard the sound of engines in the drive. I stepped out on the porch and waved as they went by, hearing a couple of shouts of glee and anticipation.

I gave them a minute or two to get things set up and walked down nude, carrying my towel. As I rounded the trees the scene looked much the same as before, except there were three vehicles and a few more people. Finding Teddy, I said hi and helped myself to a beer. I looked for Donna, assuming that a redhead would be easy to spot. I couldn't see her anywhere so I said hi to Gary and Dennis and spread my towel at the edge of the water. Disappointed she hadn't come, I was about to go back to the cabin when I heard her call my name.

"Vanessa! over here!," she yelled, and I saw her standing on the other side of the pond, frantically waving her arms. I folded my towel, grabbed my beer and waded across to join her. I felt a little strange when I climbed out, she looked me up and down like she was inspecting me, grinning all the while.

"You're gorgeous naked!" she exclaimed.

"You've seen me before," I said.

"You're so brown now!" she said.

She was all giggles and smiles as she offered to share her blanket and I sat with her, catching up on her doings at the Fort. We splashed at the edge a couple of times and she got out a bottle of lotion. As she oiled me I had some nice memories of people in the past, sharing small things like a back rub and the same tanning lotion. I thought it might be nice to share those things again with someone I cared about.

"How are you and Judy getting along?" I asked.

"Rumor has it she is sleeping with three other people, I don't want in the middle of that," she replied.

"Busy girl," I chuckled.

"Too busy for me," she said.

I was on my stomach and Donna was lying next to me, her arms over her head. I opened my eyes and peeked at the soft tender skin of her underarm, right where it met her chest. Slightly wrinkled and covered with almost invisible downy hair, it looked like a perfect spot for a kiss. She increased my horniness a notch when she sat up and pulled off her suit, lying back down and asking "Do you mind?"

"Of course not," I replied, " you look good without a suit." The tan lines were sharp and clear, the brown of the tan giving way to her white skin and those pretty pink nipples. I closed my eyes and mentally drifted, feeling my pussy ooze a little.

The portable radio was playing something soft and romantic and I felt her hand grip mine and give it a little squeeze.

"It's nice being here with you," she said.

"Mmmmm," I replied.

"I've got a 72 for this weekend," she said.

"A what?" I giggled.

"A pass, for 72 hours, I don't have to be back until Monday morning," she said.

"Great!" I said, wondering whether she was trying to wangle an invitation to stay with me, or if she had other plans. She didn't say anything else, so I thought I'd investigate another source, a 'good option' as my Dad used to say.

"Be right back, you want anything?" I asked as I got up.

"I'm good," she said, pointing to her small cooler.

I swam across and got a beer, then went in search of Teddy. I found him in the front seat of the van, dozing.

"Teddy, talk to me," I said, waking him up.

Once he sat up, I continued "Did Donna get her 72 from you?"

"Mmm-hmm," he said, " I give out all I can."

"Did she say what her plans were?" I asked.

"Something about spending the weekend with somebody," he replied.

"Thanks Teddy," I said, "you're a big help."

"Can I tell you a secret?" he asked.

"Please do," I smiled back.

"Her bag is in the truck, personally I think she wants to stay with you," he said with a grin.

"Mmmmmm," I murmured, "Thanks Teddy, see ya around."

I picked up 2 more beers to cover the real reason I'd left and walked around the pond to rejoin Donna. She was sitting up, munching on a bag of chips and drinking a beer when I arrived and plopped down.

"Got room for these in your cooler?" I asked.

"Mmm-hmm," she mumbled, pointing at it. I stashed one and opened the other, leaning back.

"What are you going to do on your 72?" I asked.

"A bunch of us usually rent a motel room and get drunk, party a little," she said.

"Is that what you really want to do?" I asked.

"No," she said shyly, dropping her eyes. She reminded me of me with my first girlfriend, shy, tentative and bashful, not knowing if what I asked for would be met with enthusiasm or disgust.

"So what are you going to do?" I asked.

"Could I stay here with you?" she asked, her eyes gleaming.

"As long as you don't snore," I laughed.

She giggled and that took the edge off the conversation, leaving us both an out if the need arose. We hadn't mentioned bed at all, or where anyone was going to sleep. If we clicked, maybe something would happen. If not, at least I would have some pleasant company for a couple of nights. I stretched out on my back and closed my eyes, waiting for evening.

Teddy got his troops together around 6 o'clock, getting them dressed for the trip back.

Donna said "I've got to go back with them and get my car."

"I'll drive you back Sunday night or whenever," I replied. Suddenly I realized she may not have wanted everyone to know she planned to stay with me, maybe some weren't gay and didn't understand, or some of the other girls would make fun of her.

"Or not," I said.

"I'll come back as soon as I can," she said, kissing my cheek. She got in the van and drove up the hill, leaving me to walk. Hurrying back to the cabin, I cleaned the kitchen and picked up stray clothes from the floor. Putting some stew on the stove to heat, I took a shower and sat on the couch in my robe, waiting.

7 came and went, as did 8. I ate supper and did the dishes, turning the radio on low. At 8:30 I heard her old beater rattle its way down the hill and stop, then the slam of the squeaky door.

Quick steps coming up the stairs and then a series of hard knocks, her voice calling, "'Nessa? It's me!"

I opened the door and saw a different person. She'd taken the time to fix her hair and put on a little makeup, highlighting her blue eyes. Dressed in very short white shorts with a matching halter top, she displayed her tan to perfection.

She had a small bag in her hand and dropped it on the floor, telling me "I'm sorry about this afternoon, I'm not very brave."

"That's ok, you're here now," I smiled, "can I get you something to drink?"

"A beer is ok," she said. I got us both one and sat on the couch, patting the cushion next to me.

"Come sit with me," I said, putting my feet up.

She kicked off her shoes and pulled her halter top off, revealing her soft swellings with their pink tips.

"Is it ok?" she asked, blushing and looking around.

"Sure," I said, standing to remove my robe.

She seemed to relax once we were nude and sitting hip to hip on the couch. I had dimmed the lights in the room to give it a romantic feel, some ambience for the seduction I hoped would happen.

"I had my bag in the truck and I really didn't need my car," she said, smiling shyly.

"I know," I said, "sometimes we do things we can't explain."

"You're not mad at me?" she asked anxiously.

"You're here, that's what counts," I said.

"I still don't feel comfortable letting people know what I'm doing," she said.

"I understand, I was just like you once," I replied.

"Shy, secretive, ashamed sometimes?" she asked.

"That and more," I replied.

"Chrissy's parents still don't know about us, about her, I mean," she said.

"Maybe they do and choose to ignore it," I said.

"Maybe," she replied.

A slow ballad came on the radio and I stood up, holding her hand.

"Dance with me," I said. She drank a quick gulp and stood, letting me lead her away from the couch. I held her loosely, both hands at her waist and my nose in her hair, our bodies not quite touching. A few steps later she dropped her hands to my butt and squeezed, pulling her body against mine and tucking her head beneath my chin.

A song or two later she said "I wanted to do this all day."

"You could have," I replied.

"Not with everyone else here I couldn't, I told you I'm not brave," she said.

"You will be," I said.

My nipples were hard and my puss was rapidly lubricating itself in anticipation as we continued to dance, sometimes fast, the slow ones a merging of bodies. A commercial came on and I stopped, her hard nipples pressed just below my larger ones. I held her face and kissed her gently, a new lover's kiss, sensual and full of tongue. She kissed back, hungry and demanding, probing with her tongue and lips.

The seduction didn't go quite as I'd planned, she backed me up until my knees hit the edge of the couch. I fell back on the cushions with her straddling me. She kissed me once and sat back to play with my breasts, kneading them and lightly pinching the nipples. She smiled as I moaned softly, delighted with her gentle hands.

"Play with me," she said quietly, "I know they're not very big, but they're sensitive."

I stroked the sides and rubbed my hand across her nipples, watching them curl and shrink into grainy knots. She leaned forward and I sucked one then the other, making her groan and close her eyes. Her smell was rising to my nose, a combination of musk and sweat I found very exciting. Lowering one hand, I explored her mound and just below, spreading her labia. Her bush was trimmed closely at the sides but left long in the middle, the curls soft and thick. I bent my finger and stroked her clit with my knuckle, getting a gasp and a jerk.

She was very wet and slippery, the engorged labia nearly filling my hand. I sucked her nipples gently and stroked her outer lips, bumping her clit on the upstroke. She pressed her hips down and held my shoulders with her eyes closed, waiting for her orgasm. I began probing inside with a finger as I rubbed, and she wiggled and smiled "Yessssssssss." I added another and she started rocking, bouncing her hips up and down on my hand. When I thought she was close I sucked a nipple rather firmly and bent my wrist, going a little deeper.

She started to come, bouncing faster and faster until she grimaced and groaned "Unh......oh god......unh unh unh! uuunnnnnnnnnnnhh!"

Her grip on my shoulders was almost to the point of pain, then she relaxed and leaned forward, searching for my mouth. I left my hand where it was, letting her insides quiver and contract on it. We kissed for awhile and I slid my hand out, holding her hips. Her body was warm, the skin unblemished except for a small mole on her right breast.

When she caught her breath, she kissed me on the neck, giving me goosebumps. She moved back and lowered her head to suck a nipple, kneeling in front of me. Planting little wet kisses everywhere, she gradually moved down until she buried her face in my hair, pulling my hips forward and spreading my knees.

The first touch was her tongue tip just below my clit. I reached down and pulled my lips open for her, anxious to feel her mouth. Gentle and teasing, she licked and sucked here and there, never staying in one spot too long. I lay back and enjoyed it, feeling it build slowly, one of the kind that lasted a long time. She reached for my breasts and started rolling the nipples between her thumb and finger, sucking hard on the upper half of my puss. As she flicked the underside of my clit with her tongue it began growing urgently, the pressure starting outward. I held her head with my fingers and crossed my ankles behind her back, pulling her closer.

I grunted as it began, the glow spreading from my womb up and out, numbing my lips and curling my toes. I gasped a few times, bucking my hips against her, moaning loudly. I heard her swallow a couple of times and utter a soft cry of "mmmm" as my clit shrank back under the hood, too sensitive to touch. Her tongue probed my entrance after that, then small kisses on my thighs as her fingers stroked my pussy lips, letting me settle. I looked down and she was grinning at me, kissing the top of my hair.

"Ready for another one?" she asked.

"In a little while," I replied, pulling her to me.

After sex kisses are the best, wonderfully wet and sloppy, full of the taste and scent of aroused pussy. I licked her face and kissed her eyes and chin, fondling her now-red nipples.

"You're different," she said, backing away slightly.

"Oh?" I asked.

"Most girls I know go for my pussy and ignore my tits because they're not very big," she said.

"Everything is part of you," I replied, happy I'd pleased her.

We cuddled and caught our breath, sipping from a can occasionally and returning to touch and kiss some more. Even allowing for the fact that this was the first time in months I'd been with someone, it was special. She leaned her head on my shoulder and put her hand on my belly, sighing with contentment. After some more cuddling, we both went pee and climbed to the loft, snuggling under my comforter. Some long kisses and incredibly emotional moments later, we fell asleep in each other's arms.


I awoke to the aroma of fresh coffee, very close. I opened my eyes and saw her face smiling down at me, a cup in her hand.

"Good morning," she said.

"It's still morning?" I laughed.

"I always get up early," she replied.

"Lemme go pee and I'll have some of that coffee," I said, climbing out of bed and putting on my shift. She was dressed in shorts and a top but was barefoot, those pretty toes visible. As I sat on the pot I thought we had barely scratched the surface, a universe of wonderful things were possible for both of us. I climbed back up to the loft, seeing that she had cleaned up the mess from the night before.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked, sitting on the edge of the bed and taking a sip of my coffee.

"I don't know exactly, just being with you is enough," she smiled. That got her a hug, and she giggled.

"Well, we could swim, tan, read, cook something special for dinner, talk, go shopping, anything you want," I said.

"Could we go to the pond and talk, there's some things you need to know about me," she said.

"Sure!" I replied, "let me get a quick shower and we'll go."

As I showered she packed my small cooler with snacks and drinks and we walked down to the pond. She took off her shorts and top while I spread out the blanket and we swam out to the raft and back, then sat down. I sprawled on my back to catch the sun and she sat facing me with her knees up, her arms wrapped around them, definitely a defensive position. I could tell she was nervous or anxious, about to divulge something important.

"You remember I told you about musical beds?" she asked.

I nodded and she said "My oldest brother's name is Chester. After Mom got sick, we'd be in the house alone and he'd come to my room and paw me, pinching my butt or my breasts. I wasn't a virgin anymore, Bailey Timmons had seen to that, and Chet said he wanted some of what Bailey got. He said if I didn't he'd take Amelia instead, and she's two years younger than me."

"So you protected your sister," I said.

"Mm-hm, and it was awful!" she cried, "he likes it rough, he doesn't make love, he fucks, and if I screamed he laughed and fucked me harder."

"Where was your Father while all this was going on?" I asked.

"Either working or at the hospital with Mom," she replied, the tears bright in her eyes.

"And that's why you joined the Army," I said, my anger building.

"Yes, I had to leave, I couldn't take it anymore," she replied, the tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

"I would have done the same," I said.

"I don't feel clean, I'm damaged goods," she blurted, "I wanted you to know before whatever happens between us goes too far."

"Too far for what?" I asked.

Inhaling deeply and looking me in the eyes, she said "I have feelings for you, and I couldn't handle it if you found out from someone else and dumped me......it's happened before."

"Let me tell you something," I said, "I don't listen to gossip, particularly the nasty kind. Your past is your business. I'm glad you told me, but it doesn't change anything."

"I'm---I'm so fucking scared!" she cried.

I sat up and held her as she sobbed, the tears wetting my arm. She calmed down after a few minutes and I pulled her to the blanket with me, her breasts resting against mine.

"Donna, this isn't a one-night stand," I said, "none of us have any guarantees of happiness, that's doesn't mean we shouldn't make the effort. Women have it rougher than men, in order to get a date we have to expose what society considers to be abnormal desires to another person up front! I'm willing to take a chance, are you?"

"Yes, but I'm still scared," she smiled.

"And you don't think I am?" I said, "I haven't thought of anything but you since the day we met!"

She stretched forward and kissed me then, her eyes bright with what I hoped was love or at least growing affection. The kissing got a little warmer and more sexual, our tongues softly entwining and our hands exploring the nooks and crannies. She rubbed her slit on my thigh as I held her butt and kissed her hard, her orgasm coming quickly. She slumped against me and buried her head between my breasts, softly crying. I held her close and stroked her, trying to reassure her by my continued presence.


An hour later we were splashing each other at the edge of the water, the emotional trauma on hold for the time being. I watched her cute breasts sway as she bent over to scoop a double handful of water to throw at me, the beautiful pink nipples hard and proud.

"Let's go shopping," I said, wading out to the sand.

What for?" she asked, "we've got everything we need, don't we?"

"I want to be seen in public with you," I said, hoping it wasn't a mistake.

"Ok," she grinned, wading out to join me.

We ran giggling to the cabin to get dressed, and I handed her one of my older muu-muus, a brightly patterned one with lots of red and blue flowers.

"Here, try this one, " I said, "It's too small for me but it should fit you ok."

"Ooooh, pretty!" she exclaimed as she pulled it over her head.

"And no undies, either," I giggled, "we're going for the natural look."

"You're so bad!" she laughed.

I found her a pair of sandals that fit and we ran for the Jeep, excited about our excursion. Once in town we parked and entered the local strip mall, and I grasped her hand. She looked at me with anxiety in her eyes but she didn't pull away. Strolling through the various stores, we got more than a few stares and whistles from the guys, always returned with a big smile and a laugh from us.

I bought a couple of things from the drugstore and went into the supermarket thinking about dinner. On the way out of town we stopped at an antique store and browsed, finding nothing we couldn't live without.

On the highway she leaned over and put her hand on my leg, tucking her head against my shoulder.

"That was exciting!" she said, "all those people knew we were together!"

"How does that make you feel?" I asked.

"Oh, happy, excited, maybe a little horny too," she said, kissing my cheek.

"After dinner we'll fix the horny part, you'll have to deal with the other," I said laughing.

"I can't wait!" she exclaimed.

She did, although not very patiently. I put supper on the stove and stripped for a shower, pulling her in with me. She got into the spirit of the evening by kissing me all over and washing me thoroughly, especially what she called "the dirty parts". I'd come once and was close to another before she decided I was clean enough. We got out just in time to prevent the meal from being a burnt disaster.

With full bellies we sat on the porch with our coffee, feet up on the rail and relaxing to enjoy the late afternoon sun.

"I could get used to being naked," she said, "sure is more comfortable than the other way!"

"You bet," I replied, reaching to hold her hand.

We sat in companionable silence for some minutes and I decided to ask a few questions.

"What do you like, sexually I mean?" I said.

"Mmmm, I don't know, whatever the mood calls for I suppose," she replied.

"I don't want to suggest anything you're uncomfortable with, that's why I'm asking," I said.

"What can we do besides what we've done?" she asked, "I don't have much experience in anything kinky."

"I'm not talking kinky, I'm talking back rubs and body massages, foot rubs, kisses in certain places, things like that," I stated.

"I like my feet rubbed," she blushed, hiding her embarrassment with her cup.

"Me too, how about your fanny?" I asked.

"That too," she said, getting redder.

"You blush cute, but don't be embarrassed. I'd rather ask now than do something and have you push me away," I said.

"You're the most honest person I know," she said, "no one else has asked me anything before, they've just done it."

"What don't you like?" I asked.

"Being forced or held down, that brings back bad memories," she replied.

"I'd never do that to you, I understand," I said.

We sat there until dusk fell, holding hands and sometimes not saying anything, content simply to be together. As the darkness gathered, she softly said "Let's go in now, I want to make love again." I nodded and got up, holding the door for her.


Inside, she went to pee and I laid a fire to ward off the chill of the evening. I had the brandy bottle down and two glasses poured before she appeared in the doorway looking very sexy. The panties were tiny and pink, the edges trimmed in lace, her mound prominent behind the material. The matching bra was a filmy see- through thing meant for seduction, not support.

"Beautiful!" I said, eyeing her up and down.

"It's more romantic if you have something to take off," she said.

"I have a few things like that, would you like me to.....?" I asked.

"Oh no," she said, "It's just the mood I'm in right now."

"And what mood would that be?" I chuckled.

"Very submissive, very horny, sexual, I'm already dripping," she said, pointing to her underwear.

I kissed her as tenderly as I could, her shyness and hesitation disappearing slowly. As before, the kisses grew in intensity and she sat on my lap facing me, her legs spread wide. I unsnapped the bra and pulled it off, kissing her breasts all over, trailing my tongue on the firmness, then blowing on the spot. The nipples crinkled and I sucked one then the other, letting my hand explore in her panties.

She was right, she was wet with slippery juices, moving her hips down and forward. She grasped my shoulders again and closed her eyes, breathing rapidly through her nose. My knuckle bumped her clit several times in rapid succession and she came, flooding my hand with cum. She tensed and groaned as it hit, tremors shaking her body. Seconds later she stood and pulled off the panties, grabbing at my arm.

"Lie down," she said.

I did and she knelt behind me, her head facing my feet. I enjoyed an upside down kiss, her hands stroking my belly and breasts, kneading and touching. She moved forward some and began to suck my nipples into hard points, hers hanging free just above my mouth. I took one pink knot into my mouth and sucked firmly, caressing the other with my hand. She did the same and moved again, kissing and licking my belly button. I returned the kiss, feeling her fur on my forehead. I could smell her excitement, sharp and musky in my nose.

She rolled to her side and pushed against the inside of my knee, urging me to open my legs. I did and felt her tongue lick my center, going as deep as she could. She draped her upper leg over my shoulder and her pretty pussy was an inch away, glistening wet with her cum. I licked and swallowed, tasting her essence. I followed her lead, putting a couple of fingers inside her snug tunnel, kissing and sucking her clit. I had a small shivery orgasm, then concentrated on her, sucking and thrumming my tongue tip on her clit. She raised her head and cried out "Aaaaahhhhh!" once, then pushed her hips forward, almost smothering me. I worked my fingers and tongue in unison, pumping both as deep as possible.

She moaned loudly and tensed, her puss tightening around my fingers. I sucked her canal, letting the thick creamy fluid fill my mouth and tingle my tongue. I swallowed twice and she gasped and rolled to her back, her hand covering her groin, struggling to breathe.

I lifted myself to one elbow and watched her, licking my fingers clean. The aftershocks came and went as she opened her eyes and smiled at me, a sultry look in her eyes. I'd gotten close to a big one but hadn't gone over the edge, and her smile told me she knew it. She moved then, kneeling between my legs and kissing my fur, opening me with her mouth. I felt her fingers go in again, probing, as she continued to lick and suck at my clit. I felt another finger (thumb?) pressing against my ass, and reached down to spread my cheeks. Whatever it was entered me and suddenly I started coming.

"Yesssss!" I screamed, reaching for her head. She pushed my hands away and held me so I couldn't move, fucking me with her fingers and mouth at the same time. I came and came again, light wavy orgasms that followed one another quickly at first, ending with a huge one that made me shake uncontrollably. My clit felt hugely erect for perhaps 30 seconds, each touch bringing a jolt to my body. I heard her swallow several times and it slipped back, gone for the moment. She waited for about a minute before pulling her fingers out of me, giggling as my pussy squeezed them with the aftermath.

I finally sat up and said "Wow!"

She giggled and said "Me too!"

I beckoned to her and said "Come on, let's go shower."

There were many loving touches and caresses as we washed each other under the spray. She kissed each nipple in turn and presented hers for the same treatment. She reached around me to play with my ass, pressing her middle finger against the hole and asking "You like that a lot, don't you?"

"Yes," I replied, holding her face to kiss her.

We dried and returned to the dying fire, our hair up in towels. I found my glass and drained it, then poured a refill and sat on the floor in front of the embers. She sat across from me, smiling widely and sipping from her glass.

"You know, I've never felt this way before with anyone," she said.

"Mmm?" I mumbled.

"Yes, peaceful, happy.......... accepted would be a good word too," she said.

"Being with you is the nicest thing that's happened to me in ages," I replied.

"God 'Nessa! You're going to make me cry in a minute!" she exclaimed.

"Now I have to find out if you snore," I laughed.

She burst into peals of laughter, choking out the words "You know I don't!"

I led her up to the loft, letting her choose the side of the bed she wanted. I got in and she moved beside me, throwing one leg over mine. Her warm softness was against my side and she said "Hold me until I fall asleep?" I murmured yes and did so, smoothing my hand gently across her hip until I heard her breathing change. I slept quickly after that.


Sunday morning I was up first and made a pot of coffee. I picked up the living room, holding her still damp panties to my nose and smelling her arousal of the night before. Taking the bra and panties up to the loft, I watched her sleep for a time. Curled on her side, her breathing was deep and even, her face calm. What agony she must have gone through at the hands of her brother, what abuse she had taken from people who saw her need and taken advantage, what inner strength she must have in spite of all that to keep going and try to make something of her life? A strong woman, a worthy woman, a good choice for me as a partner. It may not last forever, but I wanted to know her, please her, share what good things I had with her, to let her know she was indeed lovable and capable of loving back.

I jostled her shoulder and held out a cup of coffee, letting the smell reach her nose.

"Mmmmmmmm!" she mumbled as she stretched, her pretty pink nipples coming out from hiding. I bent to kiss one, making her squeal in surprise.

"Mornin', sleepyhead," I said quietly.

"Morning," she said, sitting up. I got a brief smile and then she frowned "I've got to pee so bad!"

"You know where it is," I laughed, "I'll be here when you get back."

She ran down the stairs, her feet thumping on the boards of the stairs. The trip back was slower and she crawled back into the warm bed, propping herself against the headboard.

"What are we going to do today?" she asked.

"Tan, swim, talk, whatever you want," I said.

"What I really want is for you to get back in this bed and hold me," she replied.

I put my cup on the nightstand and did exactly that, along with a few kisses around her neck and ears. Her skin was soft and dry, still warm from sleep, and the smell was uniquely hers. I thought that if I was blind I could have picked her out of a crowd. I can't describe it exactly, but those of you who have experienced it will know what I mean.

We finished coffee and kisses and went down for a refill, ending up sitting on the porch. Enjoying the sun and nature, we sipped and held hands, one of those quiet times with someone you care for that makes you feel as if your heart will burst.

I went inside to get us a refill and she followed me, standing behind me and hugging me as I poured. She hefted my breasts in her hands, saying "Pretty."

"Saggy and small," I replied.

"Part of you," she said as she kissed my neck.

I turned around and we shared a kiss, soft and tender.

"Do you have any baby oil?" she asked.

"I might, somewhere in the medicine cabinet," I replied.

She went to look and I drank my coffee, waiting. She returned with a small bottle and a grin, saying "This will do."

Looking at me with a quirky smile, she said "I want to play with you, give you a back rub, maybe a foot massage, I need to touch you."

"I'm all yours!" I smiled, "where do you want me?"

"On the floor in front of the fireplace is ok," she said.

I stretched out on my stomach and she began oiling me, her hands working the muscles in my neck and shoulders. She played with my butt making me giggle, and then kissed the dimples just above it, murmuring "Cute!" Her fingertips brushed my crotch as she did my legs, the faint touch against the hair making my clit tingle in anticipation. She did my feet and asked me to roll over and close my eyes.

I complied, feeling her hands on my face, gently massaging my cheeks and forehead. My nipples got very hard when she did my breasts, her touch comforting and arousing at the same time. I'm ticklish on my stomach and couldn't help laughing as she stroked the oil around and around. The tops of my thighs were next, the deep muscle massage relaxing me. Knees and calves were done and she ended with my feet, pulling on the toes to crack the knuckles.

"Nice," I said.

"I'm not done yet," she laughed.

Relaxed and limp, almost sleepy, I let her move me into position. She was kneeling between my legs and pulled my hips toward her and up, resting my butt on the top of her thighs. She spread my knees and put my feet together between her breasts, cradling them in her hands. I became more aware as I felt something warm and wet surround the big toe of my left foot, then do the same to the right one, and the smacking of lips as she licked and sucked between the others, one at a time. I enjoyed it immensely, feeling myself leak. Then the fingertips at my labia, pulling and probing their way inside. One, then two, full strokes in and out as I got wetter. I felt some pressure and stretching as she added the third and fourth, going in a couple of inches. She never let up on my toes, sometimes sucking two together, sometimes one at a time. I never knew which one would be next.

I arched my back a little and she pressed her hand deeper and up, pushing on my G-spot. I felt the momentary urge to pee and she moved again, sliding her fingers slowly in and out of me, fucking me with her hand. She was using the other to hold my ankles, chewing and sucking my toes.

She went gradually deeper until I could feel her thumb against my clit, stroking it softly for a few seconds when she hit bottom. I heard the sounds her hand made as it slid in and out of my pussy, wet sucking sounds that brought me ever closer. I was right on the edge of a climax, needing to come badly. Teasing, she kept me on the edge for what seemed like hours. Deep slow strokes, wiggling her fingertips on my labia on the out stroke, then sliding in to bury her knuckles behind my clit. I arched my back some more and the roller coaster finally started its ride.

Every six or eight seconds her knuckles would bump my clit as they went in and I'd spasm again. My G-spot swelled as her fingers caressed it, increasing the feelings of pleasure all over my body. Time after time my vision would dim as I watched her pump her arm and grin, enjoying my climaxes with me.

I remember screaming at the top of my lungs as the biggest one hit, trying to catch my breath and gasping "Oh God Oh God" over and over, delirious in the pure ecstasy of being fucked. I had stomach cramps, tender nipples and my face was absolutely numb, along with my toes and knees.

I don't remember passing out, but when I came to I was being cuddled and Donna was urging me to drink something. I took a sip and choked, feeling her pat me on the back. I sat up and got dizzy, putting my hand out to steady myself.

"The French call it 'Le petit mort, the little death'," she said smiling.

"Heaven has arrived", I muttered, getting a giggle from her.


Later that afternoon we walked to the pond and waded out to the raft, sunning ourselves. My body was tender and achy in spots, mostly between my legs. She oiled me gently, interspersed with soft kisses. I relaxed and dozed in the warmth of the sun, coming awake as she said "You know what?"

"What?", I asked.

"I can live with it," she replied.

"Live with what?" I replied curiously.

"A long time ago, Eleanor Roosevelt said that somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision," she said.


All of the above was written long ago, when I thought that all we might have was a summer together. On her release from the military, she applied for a job with the Waynesville school system teaching basic electronics. I still teach History and sometimes freshman soccer at the same school and we've upgraded the cabin over the years to make it a home. Teddy comes by for the occasional party with his troops and we try to make them welcome.

As afraid as we both were at the beginning and despite the arguments we've had over the years, the love we share is the most intimate and fulfilling I have ever known, neither of us missing a chance to say "I love you" or to give the other emotional support. Mom's death devastated me in a way I never imagined, but with Donna at my side I coped. She is far stronger than she thinks, and loved far more than I am capable of telling her.

I think she knows though, judging by the smiles she gives me when she thinks I'm not looking.




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